The Last Gift

Recently, a very dear friend of mine died.   We were best friends from the minute we met and for 16 years, our friendship grew and became a sheltering tree that nourished us and helped us both to grow as human beings.   In the past few years, she was very sick and while her death was not unexpected, it still caught me by surprise.  I wonder if it is ever possible to be prepared for the death of a loved one?   There will be a hole in my heart and in my life without her.

One of the problems we always seemed to muddle through together was a paucity of funds.  She was always worried about how she was going to support her children, and keep a roof over their heads.  While I live alone, I had the same struggles of trying to keep my head above water financially.   It was almost like we took turns worrying about how to pay the rent or how to keep the electric from being shut off or, at times, even how to pay to put gas in the car.  Somehow, it always helped to have someone to share the struggle and somehow we always made it through.

When I heard of her death, the first thought that went thru my mind was: “Well…now Jeanie doesn’t have to worry about the price of gas”.   I can say honestly, that is not the first thought I expected to have.  Nevertheless, that is that thought that went thru my mind.  I then found myself wondering what it is like to be in a place where you don’t have to worry about the price or gas…or the price of anything else for that matter.

Then, in the face of eternity, I realized how senseless and meaningless our pursuit of money really is.   That does not mean that it isn’t a necessary pursuit.  After all, everyone needs to eat and provide shelter for themselves.   It’s just that it is a pursuit that has no meaning when measured against eternity.

Then I wondered…”what does have meaning in the face of eternity?”   Again, the answer was unexpected.   I expected to think that helping other people, serving God, giving to charity and many other things would have meaning.  I am not saying they don’t have meaning, I’m just saying those thoughts did not go thru my mind.  The thought that did go thru my mind was: “The rosary has meaning in the face of eternity”.   I was surprised.  

I make and sell rosaries.   I pray the rosary often and it has always been meaningful to me.  So, of course, I wasn’t surprised to see that the rosary has meaning in the face of eternity.   It was the profound depth of meaning and the tangibility it gives our relationship with the Lord that caught me unaware.  In my mind, I saw the beads of the rosary stretched out like stepping stones across the sky with one end on earth and the other in heaven.   I saw that the rosary is, in a very real way, a tether that binds heaven to earth and the prayers we pray on each bead can, like stones in a stream, bear us into the Lord’s presence.

In this manner, it truly is a sacramental.   The rosary is a very real, tangible, almost lowly material object made of beads and bits of wire.   However, when prayed with an open heart, these beads transcend themselves and enable our prayers to become open doors that we as mere mortals can walk up to and meet Jesus who steps thru to be with us.   Furthermore, this collection of beads and wire gives us something that we can literally hold onto as it helps to move us deeper into our relationship with the Lord and with His Mother.

My friend Jeanie was a “dyed in the wool” Baptist who never prayed the rosary a day in her life.   Still, as I contemplate the deeper meaning of the rosary that opened up to me soon after she died, I can’t help but think that this was her last parting gift to me.   Jeanie gave me many gifts, all of which I will cherish, but her last gift to me was, far and away, the best gift.  Thank you my dear friend.