For quite some time now, I’ve felt strongly drawn to
prayer. I don’t know if I would go so
far as to say it is a calling from God or just something I feel a need to
do. However, the more I pursue it, the
more strongly I feel compelled to pray.
In my own obsessively perfectionistic way I have been very
anxious to make sure I do it “right”.
I’ve tried many different forms of prayer. I’ve read many books on prayer and studied what
the saints have written about prayer. Valiantly, I have left no stone unturned. My pursuit of prayer has even led me to
consider seeking the silence and solitude of the eremitical life. Yep…that’s right…I’m actually thinking about
becoming a hermit. In truth, some of my
friends might say that I’m already a hermit…a hermit crab, that is.
During all this studying and looking and trying, a little
thought began to insinuate itself into my mind. “Follow your own path”, it whispered. It took awhile, but after that thought
finally hammered its way thru my thick skull, it took even more time for me to
think that it might actually be alright for me to follow my own path. After all, isn’t it better (which for me is
a synonym for safer) to follow the wisdom of those who have gone before? Who am I to think that my way could be as
good as the way of the great heroes of our faith? It took awhile for all of this to become
fully realized, but when it did, it really hit me.
Suddenly, I felt as though I had been walking in a forest
full of beautiful trees, each one different from the other. As I walked along, I would come upon a tree
that I thought was wonderful and I would do everything in my power to learn all
there was to know about that particular tree.
No sooner had I done this than I became aware of another tree and the
whole process would begin again. While
each of the trees had something of value to offer, no one tree was the right
tree for me. As I continued my walk in
the woods, I came to a large clearing.
As I looked around, I became aware…not of the trees and not
of the forest…but of the ground that
all of the trees were growing out of. I
saw that the ground that gives life to the oak tree is the same ground that
nurtures the willow. The soil that
gives birth to the pine tree does the same for maple. It didn’t matter how different the trees in
the forest were from each other, they all sprang from the same ground and
because of this, they all led to the same place. They all
lead to God!
While I contemplated this image, I realized the ground
symbolized the life giving love of God.
It is a love so vibrant that it can’t help but give birth to the many
different forms of prayer and ways to follow God which were symbolized by the
trees. I understood that the experiences
of those who have gone before us are valuable tools to help us learn. However,
if we stay connected to the Lord, then we will be able to find our own way in
Him. As long as we stay grounded in
Him, if I may be allowed a double entendre, then we will discover the path He
has planned for each of us. It is a path
perfectly formed in love by Him who is perfect love. Who knows?
I may even grow my own little tree!
